Tag: choices

Grilled cheese leads to better relationships

Grilled cheese leads to better relationships

Who doesn’t love a grilled cheese sandwich? I dare say that even those of you who are lactose intolerant will be sorely tempted. (Although ‘sorely’ might be an unfortunate choice of adjective in those instances…) In the modern world where technology is impeding, rather than fostering, quality social interaction and meaningful relationships, grilled cheese just may be the answer. Hear me out…

In my previous post I reflected on the modern trend of choosing to be stressed and strung out. Part of this phenomenon, I believe, is choosing to adopt the mindset and subscribe to the idea that there is seldom sufficient time to make headway on ever-lengthening To Do lists. Some of this is due to poor time management, but largely it can be attributed to how we choose to prioritize our time.

When we choose to be ‘too busy’ we are choosing to neglect our relationships. Take, for example, teachers who assume that any social engagements have to wait for the school holidays. Or friends who live in close proximity who seldom see each other. It’s just nonsense. Honestly, where are our priorities?

The solution? Yip, you guessed it: grilled cheese.

Social occasions need not involve extensive planning and preparation. Friends do not expect a table setting worthy of Pinterest accompanied by an equally elaborate menu (unless you’ve set that precedent, in which case you should kick yourself – hard). It’s the time you spend together that is important. Needless to say, I’m referring to quality time, not a case of we’ll-be-in-the-same-room-but-stare-at-our-phones. True friends probably wouldn’t mind in the least if you spontaneously invited them over, even if all you could offer was a grilled cheese sandwich. They’d probably love it, not because they’re dairy obsessed (guilty as charged) but because it’s about friends spending time together.  Which, going back to my earlier point, is a great antidote for all the stress and busy-ness of today’s world.

As soon as you lose the idea that everything has to be planned, has to be an event, you will find the time to invest in your friendships and relationships. Importantly, your life will be more balanced and enriched as a result.

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Overcoming geese and other fears

Overcoming geese and other fears

I am afraid of geese. Seriously. It all stems back to an incident in Hyde Park, London when I was two years old. Unsurprisingly, I have no recollection of the event. But upon confessing this rather bizarre fear (especially because I never encounter any geese anyway), my mum recounted this event from my childhood. Freud would love this stuff!

You’ve got to admit this is terrifying!

I don’t have a phobia. Although I have discovered that it extends to other large birds with large beaks. Like the African grey parrot that used to wander around my mother-in-law’s living room. But then there are more serious fears – the kind that limit our development in life.

What is the predominant fear in your life that’s holding you back?  Failure, rejection, humiliation, or something else entirely? What’s that one moment in your life that you would ‘do over’ if you could?

overcoming fear and failure

In order to move forward, you have to place your fears and failures to one side. Like so many things (perhaps everything?) in life, it’s much easier said than done. But dwelling on current and past fears and failures will get you nowhere. It will just give them a more dominant position in your consciousness. Ironically, if you try to force these thoughts out of your mind, the same thing will happen. There’s a trick to this…

Although you cannot simply forget these things, you can choose to reconcile and focus. Accept that these things have happened, and that there is nothing you can do to change that. You cannot redefine the past. Reconcile yourself with these things, and accept that you can and must move forward.

It’s natural that you won’t forget your fears and failures – they will enter your thoughts. Take a step back mentally when these negative thoughts arise. See them as just that: thoughts. Remember, thoughts are not facts. Adopt a neutral stance, one of an observer who it neither critical nor judgmental. And then gently focus your attention on something else, something that is positive and rewarding.

overcome failure

We’ve all made mistakes. We’ve all been paralysed (metaphorically) by fear. We’ve all failed at things. In this way, we are all the same. But here comes the difference: some people are crippled for life, whereas others bounce back. What makes a difference is choosing to place fears and failures to one side and move on, or choosing to be overwhelmed. The choice is yours.

I’d love to hear from you. What are your crazy (like geese) or serious (like failure) fears?

Power tools and business suits

Power tools and business suits

“The first thing they teach you is not to wear a tie when using power tools.” I thought this was the most ridiculous piece of advice ever. I mean, who dresses formally whilst using power tools? But then I realised that the person speaking was my husband. Wrench in one hand, angle grinder in the other, he was dressed in suit and tie.

Now he might wear a suit and tie five days of the week, but my husband fancies himself as quite the electrician. And he is. Apart from the fact that he hasn’t quite got the hang of the dress code. I, on the other hand, hate power tools. They terrify me. When sparks start flying, I fly further. (Please don’t read anything into that.)

So there we are, staring at the motor of our electric gate. I have managed to find three spare extension cords in the house which now form a long cable from our bedroom window, snaking up our steep driveway to the gate. At the end of these cables is the terrifying angle grinder. I was put in charge of plugging and unplugging said power tool. Luckily, thanks to the cabling, I was able to do this whilst cowering behind a shrub.

When the sparks had flown, the faulty padlock in question been cut, the surrounding concrete inadvertently sculpted, I could emerge from my cowardly pose. And then I couldn’t help but laugh at the ludicrous scene we must have made.

The situation was in reality very frustrating. What should have been a simple task with the turn of a key turned into a lengthy DIY chore involving an angle grinder at the most inconvenient of times. But the irony of my husband’s advice was just too funny to ignore. So instead of swearing (sorry Mom) and complaining, we laughed about it. And at ourselves. It just shows that even in the most common everyday occurrences we can find humour. Choose optimism and the funny side of things. Always.

Note: My husband insists that I mention that he was pushed for time, otherwise he would have dressed appropriately. It’s up to you whether you believe him or not. I don’t.

May your Choices Reflect your Hopes

37. Mandela quote

This is such a powerful statement. It’s so important that the decisions we make look to the future and are based on a sense of optimism and positivity.

This quote illustrates the point that our choices are about anticipation. And it is the exact nature of this anticipation that dictates the types of choices we make. This is important because what we decide affects not only us but the people in our lives as well. Decisions that are based on a negative anticipation, in the form of fear, are bound to be bad decisions. In life it is so important to have a positive anticipation of the future – and this needs to be reflected in all our choices, big and small.

We should always strive to be hopeful, optimistic and positive about the future. Let this be the governing mantra in your life.